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October 18, 2007



No doubt some people will find fault with what you've said here, Matt, since there's just no pleasing them. But I think this is an honest and good statement. Thanks.

Joe Shaw

Well said.


Don't be so hard on yerself. You seem like a fairly nice person.

Karl Rove


You have aquitted yourself very well here on the subject with your openess, honesty and sincerity. Well done!

Matt - you expressed this in a sincere way and it is clear what's in your heart. Don't be so critical of yourself. You took corrective action as soon as you were made aware and you've not ducked for cover. Hang in there.

DP Resident

Matt, thank you for taking the time to explain your side of the story.

Regarding the Monsignor - "Character is what you are in the dark". He may have done a lot of good for lot of people. When it came time to make the tough decisions, in his darkest hour, Monsignor Urell failed us all - REPEATEDLY. He had a chance to chose doing what was right by his religion, or what was good for the hierarchy of the church and his carrer. The Monsignor CHOSE to ignore his moral duty and stick by his political one. Now he should have to live with the consequences of his choice. This wasn't one or two mistakes by Urell, but a twenty year pattern of deception. Would a politician that made a similar mistake be allowed to continue to serve? If he truly wants to make amends for his sins, let him serve god in a diocese that would be a little more demanding than one in Orange County. To the Monsignor's credit, when caught he apologized. It would have meant so much more if he had been the one to expose the sins of the church.


Well done. That took guts.


Matt -

You have always had the right to support whom you choose. It was PUBLIC support of Urell that upset so many of us so much, as well as the repeated "beating up" of survivors on your site.

Can you imagine how many of us must have felt, to have suffered for so long, to only get revictimized on your site and then get "outed."

On my own behalf, I accept your apology, but now it is time to decide how to move forward. I think that talking to some victims would be a good start. Maybe post this apology somewhere else where other survivors will see it.

Maybe now is a time to read more of the documents in these cases - especially those from Mater Dei.

Maybe it is time to disclose where you got the unredacted documents, so that the survivors can make sure that they will not be "outed" again.

Hopefully, next time when faced with this kind of situation, you will remember the expense and the price paid by the victims when you publicly supported Urell.


Jubal, I have read your blog for quite some time and I respect you tremendously. You are a logical, rationale person that deserves my respect. Though I am not a victim, I forgive you for your sincere and genuine apology. You are a classy, genuine human being and if you were not a sincere person, your true being would have been exposed by now by all "politicos." We all make mistakes...meaning not something that was done intentional, but unintentional. I believe your sincere apology, and will continue to read and look forward to reading this spectacular blog. As long as you have learned from your mistakes, which I firmly believe you have, then you deserve forgiveness. God bless you!



I don't remember Jubal/Matt ever "beating up" on survivors. Don't convict him of sins he hasn't committed.

Joelle Casteix


It does take courage to stand up and admit wrongdoing, but I believe that this should just be a first step for you.

Your actions caused a tremendous amount of pain. How are you going to make amends for them? Saying "I'm sorry" is great, but I believe accountablity should be your goal now.

I agree with Survivor - you should tell who gave you those unredacted documents. I think a meeting with survivors of clergy sexual abuse will be very enlightening for you as well.

just asking


As a practicing Catholic I understand how hard it is to acknowledge our shortcomings, but also how important it is for us to speak to them and move on. Non-catholics don't understand the power of confession and thats ok, but those of us who do understand commend you and your courage to face the situation.

Your assessment of the diocese leaders reflects how so many faithful feel. You very eloquently stated the struggles many of us have balancing the good people vs. the bad actions of our institutions.

Thank you again for your courage, the time is always right to do the right thing.


Good golly, Ms Molly, I haven't experienced so many Kool-Aid drinkers in one place since Jonestown.

south oc gal

Jubal, I think your response and statement is sincere and thoughtful. Since you're not an attorney, I wouldn't expect you to know that you should redact anything before releasing it. You took immediate and appropriate steps to correct your mistake. I think your due diligence is done.

And FWIW, if it was revealed that the pastor at my local church was involved in a sex abuse scandal, I would be shocked and hurt, probably like you were. But, like you, I would support him - because that's not the pastor that I know either. While I wouldn't glaze over what happened, I'd support him getting the help he needs now to move forward for him, the church and most of all, the victims. As a person of faith, I don't believe that holding on to negative thoughts and feelings helps in the overall healing process. I hope everyone involved finds the peace they so deserve.

Benedict XVIth



I applaud your kind and compassionate statement. It does seem that you had no ill will toward the survivors.

However, it must be said that whoever gave you the unredacted documents did have ill will toward the survivors and used you and your blog to pour salt on the wounds of injured people.

Perhaps you will think about identifying the person or persons who fed you those documents. They need healing too.

Debby Bodkin

Your apology is admirable; however, it is time to reveal who gave you the confidential documents, with total disregard for the names of sex abuse victims requesting confidentiality.

Bishop Brown, the Diocesan General Counsel and defense attorneys have REFUSED to publicly name past and present sexual predators. Yet, someone very close to the Diocese had no problem handing you confidential names of sex abuse victims.

As parents, we have the right to protect our children from sexual predators who have been protected by religious institutions and twisted attorneys. Too many mistakes have been made in the past and if the Diocese can hand you confidential docs, then the Diocese can legally name sexual predators that were never reported to law enforcement, social services or parents.

It is time to make things right.... and stop history from repeating itself. Please assist in efforts to correct wrongs that destroyed lives. Thank you.


He apologizes, gives a heart-felt account of his conflicted feelings regarding his pastor, and it is still not enough? Honestly, what does it matter where he got the deposition? The response of some of these commenters indicates little desire to heal and forgive, and more interest in dragging this episode out even longer.


He apologizes, gives a heart-felt account of his conflicted feelings regarding his pastor, and it is still not enough? Honestly, what does it matter where he got the deposition? The response of some of these commenters indicates little desire to heal and forgive, and more interest in dragging this episode out even longer.


Dismas -

You confuse forgiveness and accountability. For example: you can forgive the man who steals your car, but he is still accountable to the law.

Matt's disclosure of the deposition source will not only show that he wants to make amends for what he did, but also ensure that such unredacted names will not be leaked again. THAT fosters healing.

Forgiveness does not give someone a free pass - or create a situation where something like this could happen again.

It is in Matt's hands as to whether or not the "situation" will drag out longer. He can end it right now - I encourage him to do the right thing.

DP Resident

"..what does it matter where he got the deposition?" It matters a great deal! By knowing WHO gave Matt the deposition, you may gain insight into WHY it was given to Matt. Was it really an innocent mistake, or was Matt being used by someone with less than honorable intentions.

The response by some of these commentators indicates their desire to once again bury their heads as well as the truth. If we are suppose to put faith in the church, can't the church put faith in us? Give us ALL the evidence, and then let us judge for ourselves the extent of the wrongdoing.

Debby Bodkin

It appears that the patterns of abuse are continuing in the Diocese of Orange. Most likely, Matt was USED as a PR tool for the wealthy and influential Diocese of Orange, its General Counsel and defense attorneys.

Matt won't be the first Catholic used and definitely won't be the last. The faithful in OC have supported Bishop Brown's efforts in settling $100 million of clergy abuse lawsuits and were used again in supporting the most recent 4 sex abuse lawsuits filed against lay employees of the Diocese of Orange. USED is what the Diocese of Orange and its attorneys to best... use anyone, families, Judges, attorneys, government and law enforcement officials to PROTECT it from scandal and humiliation.

Matt, support Mon. Urell with friendship and love... but don't let the Diocese of Orange attorneys cloud your faith and betray your trust. This is why it is important to reveal who gave you those documents... self-serving motives and self-serving prophecies of those with intent to USE the faithful.


I'm trying to figure out how Jubal/Matt saying where he got the deposition will "prevent" this from happening again? Is Matt going to post it again? No. Does him revealing where he got the unredacted depo prevent it from ever being published again? No. Does anyone in their right minf think someone else would publish it? No.

Forgiveness means forgiveness. It doesn't mean, "I forgive you but not really, so you still have to jump through all these hoops for me." That's no any kind of forgiveness I've ever heard of. And these appeals for "accountability" are starting to sound like attempt to find a new target.


Excuse the typos.


Matt has offered what seems like a very sincere apology to those victims he may have hurt by the outing of their names. I hope the victims will be able to accept the apology and move on.

That said, I too believe that Matt needs to disclose source of the private documents. If this is traced back to the Diocese or Attorney's for the Church it would smell of a conspiracy. Faithful who continue to support our church need to know if our leaders continue to hurt innocent victims. For so many of us, nothing has ever tested our faith as much as these events.

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